can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
