I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she looked like the before picture.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Threesome in a minivan. New low
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
