Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
