my mouth tastes like poor choices
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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