So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
