It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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