Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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