Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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