U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
