We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
