I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
