i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize