How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
