i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
