Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
