just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
