her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
