Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Hippo gnu deer
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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