I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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