Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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