my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
