never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
