Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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