okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
