Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
