i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
