Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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