Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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