We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
