I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Randomize
