First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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