The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
