Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I don't deserve a penis
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize