I'm lost and stupid without you.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize