That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
COCAINE IS GR8
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
