Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
