Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize