He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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