I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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