Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
