Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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