yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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