found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
