You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
