I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
