Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
