census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
