Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
