he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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