There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
