i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Boobs are out for the taking
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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