I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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