You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
