you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
