rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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