That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
