He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Sober January is a disaster.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
