Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
