Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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