so explain again why im purple
no
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
