PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Nicole vs. Life
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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