TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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