I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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